#10.) RETARDED NEW MAINE LAW
LD 2012
Signed April 10, 2008
Prohibits smoking in a motor vehicle when a passenger 16 years or younger is present, regardless if the windows are open.
WTF TRANSLATION THEORY: HEY WE WON’T FINE THE CIGARETTE COMPANIES FOR MAKING A TOXIC PRODUCT THAT KILLS US, BUT WE WILL GIVE THEM PERMISSION TO SELL THEM TO YOU AND THEN FINE YOU FOR SMOKING THEM IN FRONT OF YOUR CHILDREN, BECAUSE WE CARE. WTF KIND OF SENSE DOES THIS MAKE?? NONE. EXACTLY, AND THEREFORE WE HAVE TO ASSUME THAT WHOEVER IS PASSING THESE RIDICULOUSLY UNFAIR LAWS STANDS TO MAKE A HEFTY PROFIT FROM THE TOBACCO COMPANIES. HEY WE MIGHT BE ABLE TO ACCEPT THE INSTALLATION OF SUCH A LAW A LITTLE BETTER IF IT WEREN’T FOR THE SIMPLE FACT THAT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS TO THE PEOPLE WHO CREATE THE PRODUCT. HELLO! FINING PEOPLE FOR SMOKING A TOXIC PRODUCT AND NOT FINING THE MAKER WOULD BE LIKE FINING A CITIZEN FOR BECOMING POISONED BY A NUCLEAR LEAK). 
“AN ACT TO PROTECT CHILDREN IN VEHICLES FROM SECOND HAND SMOKE”
From September 1, 2008 to August 31, 2009
Law enforcement officers shall give a written warning to an operator or passenger of a motor vehicle who is in violation.
Starting September 1, 2009
a person in violation can be fined $50 . But that’s just a start... (law maker drools)
A law enforcement officer can still give a written warning.
(Gee I wonder how many of these law makers will get fined... Can we say 000000) Oh but they don’t break the law... noooooooooooo.
THINKING ABOUT QUITTING?
CALL
1-800-207-1230
CONFIDENTIAL FREE EXPERIENCED HELP
THE MAINE TOBACCO HELPLINE Healthy Waldo County 930-6761 or 930-2650
A Healthy Maine Partnership
(Hey guys we gotta come up with something to put in so it seems like we really give a shit. This is getting old isn’t it)
Well there you have it folks, this is the first of our top ten most retarded laws in Maine and the rest of the country. Basically what we come across in our travels that has made us stop and say to ourselves: “Man what a bunch of assholes.”
Yeah yeah and I know what some of you fucktards are saying or thinking, so before you become too retarded in those processes let’s stop your brain from working too hard, because who knows you might have kids yourself and have to save your energy to deal with them and real life issues. We at WTF magazine are not a big fan of smoking and especially smoking in front of your kids or anybody else, but then again, neither are we a big fan of taking away people’s right’s to choose, which is called... FREEDOM.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, now let’s think about that word for a minute shall we... FREEDOM! LET’S SAY IT AGAIN FREEDOM! IT SOUNDS REALLY FUCKING GOOD DOESN’T IT?? FREEDOM, probably a word that makes us stop and think more than any other word. Okay there are a couple of other things but we don’t have time to get into that... I mean that would take us what a whole MINUTE! You get the point.
Freedom. Freedom to choose. Freedom to raise our children how we see fit. “Yeah but not if you’re endangering their lives and their health.” OKAY FINE, if that is your approach then we at WTF magazine are with you, but we also think that if you are going to make a retarded law as such that basically tells people that they aren’t capable of doing a good job raising their children and that we law makers can do a much better job, so here’s some rules to help you out. FINE! But if you are going to tell us how to live our lives and tell us how we should raise our children, then you should also provide us all with your addresses and phone numbers so that we can call you when we need more of your wisdom on how to raise our children, and most importantly, so that when they are acting up and won’t listen to us or are sick and puking all over the house, or when we just plain need a break, we can drop them off to such qualified experts such as yourself. Because I’m sure that our ancestors
who gave their fucking lives for our freedom and liberty would want some type of assurance that we are giving up a peace of our freedom for a worthwhile cause such as the stupid fucking retarded law that you so caringly put so much thought into. CAN WE SAY... MONEY MONEY MONEY! 
#9.) RETARDED NEW MASSACHUSETTES LAW
New Massachusetts Laws SUCK. Makes Me Want To Go To New Hampshire.
Tarantino454LS6 Tarantino454LS6
Addict | Posts: 8036 | Joined: 03/07
Posted: 09/27/08
09:54 AM
Some real dumb laws I've just learned concerning automobiles that take place on October 1st:
I’d like to stick my foot in someone’s ass about 2”.
If you do any of that, your vehicle won't pass inspection.
If I do what? Stick my foot in someone’s ass about 2”?
WTF!!!!! I was just gonna get a cat-back exhaust!
I'm so friggin PISSED OFF! What the hell happened to personalization?! I'm actually doing some good with a new exhaust, since it makes my engine more efficient!
This is so dumb...I don't see the point. Tortor velcon
Okay let’s brake it down for you then fucktard... It’s called.... hmmmm... Can we say MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!
#8.) RETARDED NEW MAINE LAW PROPOSED -MAINE OFFICIALS PASSING THE BLAME. (NICE SCAPEGOAT YOU FUCKTARDS!) 
12/25/08 | 25 comments
Feds to require registration for saltwater fishing in 2010
TRANSLATION: In 2010 the Feds propose to take more of our freedom away which our ancestors fought and died for, and fuck us again with another stupid fucking law.
The days of casting for free from a pier or the beach for striped bass and other saltwater species are coming to an end. wtf staff translation: The days of doing anything any more without paying those greedy mother fuckers in Augusta something is coming to an end.
Earlier this week, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced plans to begin requiring that recreational saltwater fishermen register with the agency beginning in January 2010. Federal officials say the registry will allow them to track how recreational angling affects fish stocks as well as the economic con-tribution of fishermen.
WTF STAFF WRITER TRANSLATION : And some more BULLSHIT from some fucking greedy elite mother fucker to get you to think.... “Awww maybe these mother fuckers really are trying to look out for our best interests.” Nope they’re fucking ya again with some lame ass bullshit people. WAKE THE FUCK UP!
SCENERIO: You worked your ass off at some dead end fucking job that you’re being taxed the fuck out of, set enough money aside so that you can spend some time doing something fun with your kids... “Hey kids, you wanna go down to the pier and do sme mackerel fishing??” (kids) “Yeah dad we’d love to go mackerel fishing, yippppppppppeeeeeee! Dad, you’re the greatest. (You get to the shore and pull out your fishing gear, picnic lunch, you and the kids walk tot he end of the pier and cast away. The sun is shining. Man it’s great to have a day off after working 60 hours and get to spend it fishing with the kids. Suddenly along comes a sour looking man in a green Uniform with a BADGE AND A GUN). “Excuse me sir, can I see all of your salt water fishing licenses?” (THE FAMILY MAN WHO WORKED ALL WEEK) Salt water fishing license? Oh that’s a good one. You had us going there for a minute. Good one. (MAN IN GREEN UNIFORM WITH BADGE AND GUN) “Ah no sir, this is not a joke. And I would appreciate it if you would not take it as being a joke. I’m as serious as it gets pal. Can I see you and your kids fishing licenses? (FAMILY MAN WHO WORKED ALL WEEK TO SAVE A FEW BUCKS SO THAT HE COULD SPEND A FEW HOURS WITH HIS CHILDREN FISHING) “I’m sorry, we don’t have fishing licenses, I just worked 60 hours a week and I.... (MAN IN GREEN UNIFORM WITH BADGE AND GUN) “Sir I’m not interested in how many hours you worked this week. I’m only interested in one thing, and that’s seeing your fishing licenses. (FAMILY MAN WHO WORKED ALL WEEK SO THAT HE COULD TAKE HIS KIDS FISHING). “ I told ya we don’t have fishing licenses.” (THE MAN IN THE GREEN UNIFORM WITH THE BADGE AND THE GUN WRITES OUT SOME SUMMONSES FOR NOT HAVING FISHING LICENSES AND PASSES THEM TO THE MAN AND HIS CHILDREN). “Here ya go. Here’s the time and place where you are scheduled to appear in court, or if you wish to bypass the court and pay your fine, this summons is also acts as an envelope, already addressed for your convenience, all you have to do is drop it in the mailbox and you are on your way. (FAMILY MAN WHO JUST WANTED TO SPEND A LITTLE TIME FISHING WITH HIS KIDS) “Can’t ya just give us a warning this time? I barely got enough money to buy gas to make it to work. (OFFICIAL LOOKING MAN IN GREEN UNIFORM WITH A BADGE AND A GUN) “Nope I’m sorry, fresh out of warnings today.” (FAMILY MAN) “But.... (OFFICIAL LOOKING MAN) “AH AH Don’t wanna here it. I’ve done my job. You can take it up in court. You have a nice day. (THE OFFICIAL LOOKING MAN WITH GREEN UNIFORM, BADGE AND A GUN, TURNS AND WALKS AWAY). (FAMILY MAN JUST TRYING TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH HIS CHILDREN) “Have a nice Day! Have a nice Day! You have a nice day you green suit wearing stupid mother fucker! (THE FAMILY MAN’S CHILDREN LOOK AT DAD LIKE HE IS A MAD MAN ABOUT TO GO OFF HIS ROCKER)) 
.
No fee will be charged for the first year, but anglers will likely have to pay $15 to $25 for a saltwater fishing license beginning in 2011.
TRANSLATION: No fee will be charged the first year because we really do care about the general public and want to give it to you slow so that we don’t rip your ass apart. Hell we may even pass out free ky jelly the first year to make the transition much smoother and more comfortable. No fee the first year, but you can bet your ass that it will go up higher and higher every year, because we all know that we have to keep up with the cost of living increases.
NOAA’s rules allow states to require their own saltwater fishing licenses or registries, with all of the resulting revenues staying within state coffers. All revenues from a federal registry will go to the federal government.
As a result, Gov. John Baldacci’s administration is introducing legislation to begin a licensing program for saltwater anglers. TRANSLATION: Man it’s a good thing that we have a Federal government that we can blame all these bullshit laws on so that we don’t look like the bad guys, but still get to collect the rewards. It kinda reminds me of what the small towns do when they blame a really bad, freedom taking away law on us.
Baldacci spokesman David Farmer called the NOAA decision “unfortunate” and said state officials have concerns about a registry being imposed upon the state. But if a license is going to be required, Maine might as well be able to keep the revenue, Farmer said.
TRANSLATION: Man it’s a good thing that we have a Federal Government to blame shit on.... We can blame it on them, they can blame it on us... It works out great for all of us highly over paid greedy slimy mother fuckers.
Licensing of Maine’s estimated 300,000 saltwater anglers is expected to generate $3 million in revenue for the state.
WTF STAFF WRITER TRANSLATION: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH the greedy mother fuckers lick their chops and dream of tropical get-aways and of buying their 8th home and sending their family dogs to culinary school.
“We think it’s important that, at the very least, the Legislature has another discussion about this,” Farmer said. Lawmakers killed a measure to create a state registry earlier this year.
WTF STAFF WRITER TRANSLATION: “Well we know the general public is going to be fuming over this, so naturally we have to say something to make it look like we really give a shit about these un-educated, hard working, lucky to have us intelligent, greedy mother fuckers spending their money wisely. Man I can’t wait to get my 8th home.... Oh I haven’t decid
ed where I want to get one yet.” 
NOAA officials point out that the registry was strongly recommended in a 2006 independent scientific review by the National Research Council of the National Academy of Sciences. That recommendation then became law last year in the reauthorization of the Magnuson-Stevens Act, the federal law dealing with regulation of saltwater fish stocks.
WTF STAFF WRITER TRANSLATION: “Hey lets throw some big words into a paragraph along with some really official and intellectually sounding places, and maybe we can get this law passed without the general public getting together and burning down our evil fucking homesteads where we worship Devil monkeys.
The agency had originally proposed that the registry begin this January, but officials bumped back the requirement an additional year to allow states to adopt their own programs.
WTF STAFF WRITER TRANSLATION: We already test marketed this truly ridiculous law before the public and they were absolutely fuming, so we’ll put this one on the back burner and bring it around again later. Hell we are running out of options on retarded fucking laws that we can pass to bring money in. Hell if this keeps up, we might actually have to really consider doing something that doesn’t require screwing the general public over in order to make another million for ourselves.
“Better national surveys of the more than 15 million saltwater anglers will help us demonstrate the important contributions of recreational anglers to both local economies and to the nation’s,” Jim Balsiger, acting assistant administrator for NOAA’s Fisheries Service, said in a statement. “The registry will help us gather compre-hensive data to ensure sustainable fisheries built on the best available science.”
WTF STAFF WRITER TRANSLATION: Once again, lets throw some big words into a paragraph to help convince the general public that them paying for a license to recreational fish in the free world is the proper and right thing to do. Not only that, it will bring a lot of money in for our representatives and legislators who work tirelessly to come up with new and improved ways to fuck us.
Under the federal registry, NOAA will collect the following information from anglers: name, date of birth, address, telephone number and the regions where they plan to fish. That information will then be used to conduct surveys on fishing activity and the amount of fish that are caught, according to NOAA.
AN OOPS FROM THE GENERAL PUBLIC: “Hey well that’s all well and dandy, but how come you have to fucking charge us a fee to get this information? We’ll give you the information for free. ANSWER: “Nope sorry, we have to charge you for this info. What would be the point otherwise idiot?
Anglers who fish only on licensed charter or party boats will not be required to register because those boats are already surveyed separately by NOAA.
The agency received nearly 500 comments from the public on the proposal earlier this year, with many of those in opposition to saltwater licenses. None of New England’s states require saltwater fishing licenses.
Patrick Keliher, who heads Maine’s Bureau of Sea-Run Fisheries and Habitat within the Department of Marine Resources, said the money generated by a state-issued license would certainly help pay for fish restoration, monitoring and other projects.
“Our feeling is we could put this money to good use in the state,” Keliher said. “The reality is there is going to be a registry.”
WTF STAFF WRITER TRANSLATION: “Ah we know the general public is opposed to knew regulation, but that’s not the point. The point is that our department has been trying to come up with a great way to come up with fresh funding so that we can all give ourselves a ridiculous raise and pass it off as a necessary and good thing for the preservation of the fishing industry. The bottom line is that we are going to look out for ourselves and our department first, and there is not a damn thing that the general public can do about it. Unless of course they were to get really pissed off and get together and refuse to pay taxes until they got some people to represent them that actually gave a shit and put them first, but we all know that that isn’’t not going to happen. Hell maybe they will think that the only way to run a government is through a volunteer type system. Which in all reality isn’t a bad idea. It would just take someone with good scheduling abilities and people willing to donate a few hours of their week. Hell as far as I can see, a volunteer type system would be the only way to keep people in government honest.
